2009 and the Family

As I read an email from Tom Minnery, Senior Vice President, Government & Public Policy at Focus on the Family entitled "2010, Standing For the Family...with your help" I was saddened by the first paragraph that read:

• As I wrote to you a short time ago, 2009 will go down in history as ushering in the most damaging policies for families that we've ever seen in our lifetimes. Our president and Congress initiated an agenda of "change" that included pro-abortion, pro-gay policies, anti-faith and anti-family legislation and appointments. We have faced the ongoing attempts to include abortion funding in government-run health care. But despite all this, Focus on the Family® has continued to protect the institution of the family.

At the same time I was once again thankful for Focus on the Family and FamilyLife, two large para church organizations that support Christian family values in America. I pray now that as we follow in their footsteps to set out and start a Faith Based Non Profit Marriage Ministry, SOS Marriage Care, that we will continue to encourage marriage and families to be all God intended them to be.

Humbled by the work of Focus on the Family and FamilyLife and humbled that God is using us as well. Mind you, not in comparison to their large endeavor and organization, just as encouraged by them via their ministry to us.

The end of 2009, ready for 2010!

Today I look back at 2009 thinking what did I learn from the Lord this past year. I love to put down a key reference point of what God has taught me, many times through trial, for each year I've been a Christian.

As I ponder from 2008 when God showed me many times over how to CARE for people at a very different humble level. That year I helped my dear 81 year old neighbor, Alice, literally wash the hair off her head after he first rounds of chemo in early 2008 to watch the vibrant independent woman she was gracefully pass away October 30th of 2008, just 8 months after being diagnosed with lung cancer.

And to the helping of 10 couples in 2008 break strongholds in their life that was destroying intimacy in their marriages, spiritually, emotionally and physically. All of these experiences in 2008 helped me see why God wants us, his people, caring for the needs of others. The physical, emotional and spiritual needs of others. I thank God for that year of learning how to CARE.

But now looking back to 2009 I'm putting together my thoughts as to what God has shown me for this year. Something that truly stands out above all previous learning.

We can see his hand in working us out of full time employment and into full time ministry...someday sooner than our plan would have been. We again worked with 10 new crisis or semi-crisis couples in 2009. We can see his hand in our lives on the down hill slope, as my husband Roger and I turned 50 together in early 2009. The kids even threw us a "100th" Surprise Birthday Party to celebrate! We love parties.

What comes to mind is: Christ with ME. Based on my study from the end of the year, I think I can say I've truly learned how to take Christ into every area of my life.

Immanuel ~ God is with me.

I then read this scripture and poem known as St Patrick's Breastplate:

Psalm139:7-10
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presences?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
Even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

Psalm 139:11-12

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

Famous Fourth-Century prayer known as:

St. Patrick’s Breastplate

Christ be beside me, Christ be before me,
Christ be behind me, King of my heart;
Christ be within me, Christ be below me,
Christ be above me, never to part.

Christ on my right hand,
Christ on my left hand,
Christ all around me, shield in the strife;
Christ in my sleeping, Christ in my sitting,
Christ in my rising, light of my life.

Christ be beside me, Christ be before me,
Christ be behind me, King of my heart;
Christ be within me, Christ be below me,
Christ be above me, never to part.

Today, I thank God for never leaving me.

I've listed the years I've kept track of for you to encourage you to ponder what the Lord has taught you these past years. I look it as a way to LEARN and not have to be taught the same thing through MORE trials let alone errors.

1990 Success the World’s Way
1991 Success My Way
1992 Drifting Marriage
1993 PRAYER, How to’s and why to’s
One baby to heaven
1994 Forgiveness
1995 Breaking Strongholds
Forgiveness Level Two
Baby Two to heaven
The Blessing of Children
1996 Beginning of on purpose “Lay Ministry”
1997 OBEDIENCE
Retirement of 20-year Business career
1998 Abraham’s FAITH
Money is the Lord’s
Wedding Covenant
Jessica & Ty get married!
1999 Letting Go to God, Children, finances
My first LOVE, God, Jesus & HS
2000 Legalism vs. Grace
Discipling my children
Starting Home School
Jacob Roger Hickok born - 1st grandson!
2001 WORSHIP – Corporately and Personally
2002 HUMILITY, to be like Christ
2003 PEACE
Collin Vincent Hickok ~ 2nd Grandson born!
2004 JOY
2005 Knowledge vs. God’s Word
2006 The Authority of the church & it’s leaders
Submitting to Authority
2007 Nothing happens to us that is not FILTERED THROUGH OUR FATHER’s
HANDS
Kurt & Kayla get Married!
Easton Dale Friesen ~ 3rd Grandson Born!
2008 How to CARE about people
2009 Christ with me.
Sadie & Ethan get married!

Miss Mary’s life: A memorable journey - Hannibal, MO - Hannibal Courier-Post

My Girlfriend, Shelly from MO visited Hannibal, MO this past weekend. Shelly and her sister Debbie visited a nursing home where their Aunt Sylvia lives. The planned for a nice Christmas visitation with all of the elderly residents and have done this for several years now. Many of them look forward to seeing them visit each Christmas season, that is if they remember them.

At the nursing home in Hannibal, Shelly & Debbie met a very outgoing, positive and somewhat feisty older lady that claimed to be 106 years old. When the nurses verified that she was in fact that age, Debbie also found this very insightful article in the archives of the Hannibal Courier Post about Ms. Mary Carter, age 106. Seems Ms. Mary must have recently moved into the nursing home in Hannibal.

I challenge you to listen to the short video at the end of the article to get inspired about living a positive "happy" life for Jesus! It will make you smile and remind you to be thankful you are "alive!"

Miss Mary’s life: A memorable journey - Hannibal, MO - Hannibal Courier-Post

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Husband #2 ????

Okay, I can't stand "The way things ARE today." I am totally sick of the commercial for the newly released antacid medicine. The actress in the commercial claims to be out on a date with a guy that is "really bringing it." She on the other hand, "has got nothin'." She then takes this medication, another pill to feel better, and then she gets "husband number two!" It's totally the excitement of the number two or second husband she has, as if there will be a three and four.

I've always said that it seems that even in well meaning churches there is more emphasis on DivorceCare type ministries than there is on "Reconciliation CARE" We live in such a disposable society. One that even elevates the idea of just getting a new husband. I thank God daily that we have been taught and continue to teach others that they don't need a new spouse, they NEED a NEW marriage.

Why take all of the issues from your first marriage into your second, third or fourth marriage. Why not work on the issues you have and learn to love as Christ taught us to do. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. And women are admonished to teach the younger women to love their husbands. In this, it seems as though it is something we need to learn to do. It's not basing love on an emotion that just happens. It's a deep love that brings up a wonderful emotion.

I pray today that anyone reading this will not look to spouse #2, 3, or 4 to find the love and joy that God intends for "the wife of your youth." Reconciliation can be a wonderful lifelong marriage of happiness, this I live daily. Thank-you Lord for restoring my marriage back on February 12, 1995! I'll never forget what the Lord has done for us.

Dr. Oz at it again

Today I was doing laundry again and listened in to Dr. Oz again. He is doing the second round of his "National Sex Experiment" in marriages. He's outlined a few more things to
"help get America restarted in the bedroom." Remember in my earlier post that he says there is a problem with lack of intimacy in American couples, married ones, these days. He says it's in epidemic proportion in America. DUH, I say. As we move farther and farther away from calling sin a sin, it's no wonder that the sin of bitterness and laziness and selfishness is taking over in the bedroom. We need to forgive, get rid of bitterness and laziness and let go of our selfishness in order to be able to open our emotions up to intimacy. The gal on Dr. Oz's show today, a sex therapist said, "You can change the color of paint in your bedroom to make it more, " alluring was what she was suggesting. She also said that a couple should practice acting out a fantasy, maybe with costumes if necessary!

I say, what about just loving one another in a way that is intimate in and out of the bedroom. Love with an intimacy that God loves with. Emotional connection that looks forward to being together, at all hours, and not just in the bedroom. This can and will happen when you lay your "issues" down at Jesus feet, accept the emotional pain and consequences and learn to love as God loves; unconditional, romantic, passionate and holy.

We have been mentoring some couples this year, where their marriages have gone from zero and one's on the scale of 1-10, 10 being great to 6, 7, & 8's all by using the "Heart Care" method of forgiveness and laying things down at Jesus feet. So much emotional intimacy is dormant behind the walls of bitterness, pride, moral failure, negative thoughts, generational sin, sinful habits, hypocrisy, and the like. I'm thankful that God is a forgiving God and he restores the years the locust have eaten in all lives who surrender to Him!

Less Stress

As I have watched the Dr. Oz show off and on, I have found some useful tips I'd like to pass on a more importantly, remember myself.


His 4 big ideas to have less stress in your life were:

1. Discontinue Caffeine


2. Cut back or discontinue sugar intake


3. Add Vitamin C to your diet


4. Increase Endorphins by: Exercising, Meditation & Deep Breathing

How interesting. Eating right has always been a challenge for us in America. God created food from the ground for us to eat, but why do we always seem to go for the highly sugar added, fried in grease, chemically processed or enhanced with preservatives food? Oh how good it would be to eat only the good things for me. I look forward to eating more from the land we live on each year. Next year we plan to plant fruit trees to eat from and sell at our Farmer's Market in Springfield.

Then there is adding that Vitamin C. I believe that a person needs to get out in great outdoors and get the serotonin from the sun every day. I find it so rewarding and encouraging to my mental health to get outside with God's living creation daily. Thanks Lord, for the great property you allow us to care for. I pray you will give us the means to pay for the extra $800 each month we are going to have to pay in taxes this next year. YEP, our property tax in Sarpy County, NE went up 333%. Talk about taxation with out representation. Pathetic.

Okay, back to the list of stress relievers that I desperately need this year. Hmmm, endorphins increase. Did you know making love to your spouse increases endorphins that produce a healthy body? Yep. And about the meditation, what about daily prayer, memorizing the word, studying the word and just "Being still and knowing that HE is God." I think meditating on his word is a very useful practice to understanding God's will, and lining up with it. When I first learned how to meditate on his word several years ago, I was amazed how God gave me direction, comfort and peace in knowing and completing his plan. He also gave me the "next right thing to do," each day!

And to think people are all in a flurry about how wonderful Yoga is these days, like it's a new practice for great health. I think God designed a perfect idea for great health. Meditating on his word makes so much more great sense compared to the Eastern Religion idea of emptying your mind and finding peace from within. God tells us always to renew our minds. Romans 12:2 "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

I must take time to reduce stress by renewing my mind right now! Add deep breath here - in through the nose and out through the mouth.

Are Women in America Unhappy?

Today, still doing laundry, Rachel Ray told viewers on her show that statistics show women in America are unhappier today than in previous decades. She went on to state that we have more power, more business success and more women in the work force, yet we are not as happy. She said, "Why is that?"

Well I'd love to answer that Rachel. I think we have made a shift away from what God intended for Marriage and Family. While women have lots of opportunities, many women take advantage of that and in the long run end up doing jobs that require a lot of their time and energy, pulling them away from the their families and definitely not encouraging oneness in their marriage relationships. Am I saying it's wrong to work outside the home? NO, but make sure it doesn't interfere with your number one priority as a Mom and Wife, to be the intended helper/homemaker of your family. If it does, it may not be a good choice for your family.

My husband will say that many times women excel at work because they do not get the encouragement from husbands at home. People even compliment what a woman wears in the workplace. I've always said, I think women dress up for other women. We get many of our compliments from each other and look forward to impressing our girl friends. However, if you put together a day with; an argument with your husband left over from the night before and a boss or other male co-worker complimenting the way you dress then you may have a recipe for success for Satan to get in and cause problems in a marriage.

Satan's goal is to break up a marriage. In doing that, he will break up a family, which in turn breaks up a church and as many societies before us have disintegrated, so will America, our country. Satan hates any thing of God touches. God created the institution of marriage, the church, and the family. We must fight for our families and not let being busy cause us to drift from a happy and fulfilling marriage, family, church and country.

So back to why they are unhappy. Could it be that women have taken on too much or too many tasks we were not created to handle. Are we working to buy stuff we don't need to end up working a job we don't like and hauling things to the curb for the Disabled Veteran van to pick-up things we no longer need, want or have time to use?

Sometimes you have to get off the wagon of bad habits. Take time to be the Mom you want to be. Which usually lines up more to the Mom God wants you to be. I've worked with SO many women that end up working just to pay the bills and they hate it. Many times women are making more than their husbands, who in the long run tend to lose self esteem by having a higher paid wife.

Remember this little quote..."If Satan can't make you bad, he will work to make you busy." Too busy to take care of a family and marriage relationship. Then breakdown happens. Make time for God, Your Husband, Your Children and You, each day in this order and you will find more recipe for happiness. Keep your priorities in the right order for success. Learn to serve God your spouse and your family to find joy and blessing each and every day!